Posts by Iown Mylife

28

How much do Elders actually get along with each other?

by Davros in

jw
friends

i was reading in the shepherding book that elders should “ cultivate and maintain friendships with one another.”, and thought to myself “bulls$it!” i remember that most of the elders in my old congregation were nothing but nasty asses.

i know it may vary from congregation to congregation, but do elders generally get along with each other behind closed doors in elders meetings?

or, are they often in conflict with each other?

Iown Mylife

Our town had two English-speaking and one Spanish-speaking congregation, all using the same kh. Elder in one hall rented a lake house to an elder in the other hall. The house was put up for sale. The renter wanted to buy it, and was able to arrange financing with a third elder. The elder who owned the house did not want to sell to the renter. Because the renter was wanting to buy at the price set at first; before the seller knew of the plan to purchase the house together and then flip it.

Well there were lots of ins and outs, people took sides, the renter elder got marked in one cong but not in the other; people took sides over THAT. At the time I didn't even know what marking meant or how it was supposed to be carried out. There was a get together at a county park and we were all eating outside. The marked guy shows up and sat down next to me, started a trivial conversation. All of a sudden the p.o. from my kh and his wife got in their car to go. I went up to the wife and asked, Why are you leaving so soon? She said, "Well, we can't be seen to be talking to HIM, because then the observers would think the marking was over." WHA???

Jeez it was supposed to be all hush-hush, and it was the main topic for months, or years. The whole thing went to court, I don't remember the details. But everyone in all three kh's was just scandalized over two brothers who were elders, fighting in court over a piece of real estate.

33

Jehovah`s witnesses not the only religion GOD is using now ?

by smiddy3 in

when confronted with angus stewart’s blunt question “do you see yourselves as jehovah god’s spokespeople on earth?” the answer that came from jackson’s lips was astounding.. “that i think would seem to be quite presumptuous to say that we are the only spokesperson that god is using.

the scriptures clearly show that someone can act in harmony with god’s spirit in giving comfort and help in the congregations, but if i could just clarify a little, going back to matthew 24, clearly, jesus said that in the last days ‐ and jehovah’s witnesses believe these are the last days ‐ there would be a slave, a group of persons who would have responsibility to care for the spiritual food.

so inthat respect, we view ourselves as trying to fulfill that role.”.

Iown Mylife

@ScenicViewer You’re the first person I’ve seen, to mention that wording!

12

Venting: Sometimes i absolutely hate my wife

by goingthruthemotions in

don't get me wrong, i do love her.

but when she goes into cult mode, i freaken hate her.

i hate the person this pos religion has made her become.

Iown Mylife

This forum is so good for venting. Your post reminded me of times when I was young, and got so mad at my husband, and he just brushed off my concerns and refused to listen to me. So I would write him a letter and put everything into it, and he would read it because, who doesn't want to read a letter? THEN he'd be willing to talk about things.

Back then the only social media was letters to the editor, or dear abby. Maybe call-in radio advice shows.

The venting letter would not be good now though, trying to talk about JW cult. Because it wouldn't be good to write down how awful the JW cult is, and then the elders would have it, no doubt.

Nobody can hurt us as badly as the ones we care about the most, sad to say. I hope things improve for you.

13

I almost died ...allow me to explain

by Terry in

jw
friends

in 1923 i almost died.. allow me to explain .... .

i wouldn't exist for another 24 years ...but.

for a few seconds, on top a building, my grandfather, jack hybarger, stood with tears running down his cheeks and a small caliber pistol in his right hand.

Iown Mylife

When i was in my late 30s I learned that my father was a pedophile. He was arrested in McAllen, TX, for preying on young teen Mexican boys.

Over the next few years of gathering information I realized that the only reason I exist is because he needed to have kids so that he could get accepted by people who had children. Sons, in particular.

27

How do you switch off the thoughts of being raised JW and feelings of anger

by Zeds Dead in

raised as a jo blow and married into it.

37 years in it and now last 7 years out of it which feels great.. have memories of being a kid in school in the uk and just hating everything about being the jw kid.

bullied, embarrassed in front of others and self-esteem went into the toilet.wished i was born into a different family.. what angers me is the messaging i would receive at home when i talked about being bullied.

Iown Mylife

Anger is well-justified when remembering all the ways your life was controlled in the JWs. The mental programming can't be switched off like a light. I think of it as something that was installed in my mind and has to be peeled away layer by layer.

Talking about it all helped me to begin the de-programming. Also the physical act of writing about it as we do on forums like this one, and getting feedback from others who really are capable of understanding what we've been through, is incredibly healing.

I haven't found any way to shorten the healing time. As the time goes along, having some good conversation about our bad experiences and maybe getting to laugh about it sometimes, helps to drain the toxins a little at a time. Everyone's situation varies, and having family shunning you makes it worse. But you begin to find that you think about it all less often. ♥

6

That escalated quickly... (Quote from today's Zoom public talk)

by Jofi_Wofo in

jw
friends

the speaker at my wife's meeting: "a discouraging word can lead to inactivity, apostasy and death.".

i mean, what the...??????

.

Iown Mylife

@Ultimate Reality - sorry for the accidental down vote- that was me trying to vote UP on my tiny phone screen.

27

UGHHHHH Wife wants to pioneer. Our future together doesn’t look promising

by goingthruthemotions in

ughhhhh wife wants to pioneer.

our future together doesn't look promising .

i told her she doesn’t know what she is getting into.

Iown Mylife

When i was having a grand old time in the borggy I thought I could pioneer. I just loooooooved everyone in the cong, everything would be so wunderful oh my.

By the end of the 5th week, I was exhausted; I'd had my feelings hurt too many times to count, by thoughtless, inconsiderate heifers who were so delighted to have new meat to grind up; I was so sick of seeing the same old faces almost every single day - old stinky breath McDonald, old garlic-chewing-for-immune-system-&-knows-everything Peggyann; old takes a bath once a week whether she needs it or not Almira McGillicuddy; and of course the old woulda-been-an-elder-if-only-she-was-a-man-so-she-is-keeping-her-laser beam-eyes-on-every-move-you-make Harridan From Hell.*

They would tell me that I needed to take their talk assignment the very day of the meeting. They would criticize my outfit; my bookbag; what i said at the doors. They would get mad at me if I needed to get a bathroom break. They would send me to doors that they knew were terrible mean people and then laugh and say I needed to get my beating. They would pick on me for laughing too loud in the car or in the kh. They would take turns so I never knew who was going to be bad cop for the day. Constantly telling me I was wrong if I brought up any topic no matter how inoffensive it was.

They made sure I never got to drive so I was carsick every time I went in service. They would complain about where I parked when I got to the kh in the morning. It was a MILLION put-downs and irritations times pioneer hours equals emotional beatings equals depression.

I don't know if my experience was exceptional or the norm. If she goes through anything like I was subjected to, she won't last long. Maybe if you're just really nice about it all, you will be the refreshing comfort she needs and your problem will just dissolve. I hope things won't be as bad as you think.

*names have been changed :-)

23

So the elders gave my 19 year old daughter a shepharding call depression ensues!

by nowwhat? in

against our wishes she got baptised at 16 because she got brainwashed by her cousin.

the last year or so she hasn't been so gung ho about the "truth".

anyway the elders came down on her for not getting her time in the last couple months because she absolutely hates zoom letter writing.

Iown Mylife

VERY dangerous, heaping criticism on a young person. Even IF they had a say in the youngster's life, and actually cared for her, it's dangerous for emotional and physical well-being. Obviously the cult bozos have no business interfering in her life choices and her struggle to get an education. She is under enough pressure and does not need to be inundated with nonsense and overwhelmed with opinions of insignificant, ridiculous nobodies who need a huge dose of Mind Their Own Business.

32

David Splane's 2020 Conventionl talk ....''Jehovah has to come first''

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

'' has your desire to put jehovah first been tested during this pandemic?

you lost your job and you searched for another one.

finally, after a long search, you found one but it was a job that would require you to miss all your meetings and field service.

Iown Mylife

Trying to glorify the unemployed but faithful, so that sinful meeting-missing, paycheck-drawing fiscally responsible members will support them.

84

Does Anybody Here Sympathize With The Looters That Cause Destruction?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i realize some here are diehard democrats.

whether you are democrat, republican or independent, do you support any of these looters that cause mayhem and destruction for their cause?

i have heard some people sympathize with these law breakers saying they understand why they do what they do and leave it at that.. of course i wonder how they would feel if their own property was burnt or stolen or destroyed..

Iown Mylife

Lots of comments on twitter and elsewhere from ones who support, endorse and enjoy violent destruction of property, include the belief that it's perfectly fine because property is insured and property is replaceable.

Reminds me of the murderers who say they are doing victims a favor, helping them get to heaven.

Destroyers don't stop to check with property/business owners first to see if they're ADEQUATELY insured for total replacement value or if their insurance is in effect yet; they don't first make sure that the person's insurance will pay in time to get the business going before lack of income ruins the owner. Not many people I know of who run a business have a pile of cash to cover lack of income.

There are so many factors involved in getting a business ready to open. Really each commercial enterprise is a miracle mix of luck in finding loans and investors, incredible amounts of patience and hard work. I feel so very sad for all the terrible loss that business owners, their families, employees, customers are going through. And don't forget the loss of all the taxes they were generating.

I'm not any kind of educated economist or political expert. My opinions have developed from a lifetime of menial jobs as well as seeing what it takes to open a business - just a very small business. It's incredible that anyone tries to do it.